Monday, May 25, 2009

Some things I have learnt

In no particular order...

  1. Spinning round and round is not conducive to walking, running or even standing straight
  2. Spinning round and round will make Daddy forget that I touched the laptop/computer or TV.
  3. It is not OK to put anything but clothes in the washing machine. Tupperware, credit cards and cell phones are not clothes!
  4. If you throw your sippy cup in the sea, you better hope you have a patient mummy and that the tide is going the right way.
  5. Crying does not help you get out of trouble
  6. Signing "plane" does not make them magically appear - unless you are actually near the airport.
  7. Mummy will forget she is cross with you if you raspberry her tummy or stick your finger in her belly button.
  8. DO NOT put banana down the back of Mummy's jeans. (I'm guessing this is universal though.)
  9. Running on the spot and squealing in front of another child is not as much fun for them as it is for me.
  10. Breathing with a snotty nose is easier if you wipe your nose on the clean laundry, couch, Daddy's shirt or all over your face.
  11. You can comb your hair with a fork. If you want lasting style rub egg, two minute noodles or mince through it first.
  12. Mince and chicken are not evil. Pumpkin soup is.
  13. I am too young to drink coffee and eat a whole chocolate biscuit. There is absolutely no point in asking.
  14. Wearing a shirt that says "Cutest baby in the world" will get commented on... Apparently I am in the Top 25. I'm guessing I have to compete with the Jolie-Pitt kids.
  15. There is no shirt that says "Mummy's WMD" or "I am what Bush was looking for!"
  16. Just because I can climb on the dining room table doesn't mean I should. Same goes for opening the front gate.
  17. It's harder for grownups to put a nappy on a moving target.
  18. It's harder for grownups to dress a moving target.
  19. It's harder for grownups to put Pumpkin Soup in a moving target.
  20. Geese are scary, ducks bite and Mummy is not averse to kicking either of them.
  21. Ducks will apparently learn not to grab the bread from my hand if Mummy smacks their beak and says NO!
  22. Girls like to be chased
  23. I don't.
  24. Throwing is harder than it looks.
  25. Throwing like a girl is easy.
  26. I get invited out to lunch and can choose to bring the parents.
  27. Sleep is for the weak.
  28. Music is cool
  29. Pretending to be shy gets you far in the world!
  30. So does being cute :)
  31. Wearing clothes is optional once you can take them off yourself.
  32. Mummies don't like having their shirts pulled down in the middle of the shops.
  33. The phrase "Oh My God" during a nappy change does not mean anything has fallen off. Checking it just means that you have to have your hands washed.
  34. Insomnia is best shared.
  35. Fits of giggles at 3am are not contagious.
  36. Cuddles can cure anything.
  37. I have 2 ears.
  38. Everyone I have met has 2 ears.
  39. Ears are great handles when riding on Daddy's shoulders.
  40. Life is more fun on the weekend
  41. Books are cool and if you break them in 3 you have 3 books!
  42. Every stone on the path has to be looked at closely and tasted. There is a chance that it may be edible.
  43. If you are given a cupboard of plastic things there is another cupboard full of glass things. Play with that instead if you want attention.
  44. Eggs break.
  45. Raw eggs does not taste like scrambled egg.
  46. Raw potatoes - very similar to #45
  47. Only talk on the phone when there is no one on it.
  48. Grown ups do not know where any of their or your bodyparts are. Nor for that matter do they know what noises any animal makes.
  49. Mummy's mixing bowls make great hats and drums.
  50. Putting your head between Daddy's legs when he is peeing is dangerous. Always use a mixing bowl for protection!

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