- Spinning round and round is not conducive to walking, running or even standing straight
- Spinning round and round will make Daddy forget that I touched the laptop/computer or TV.
- It is not OK to put anything but clothes in the washing machine. Tupperware, credit cards and cell phones are not clothes!
- If you throw your sippy cup in the sea, you better hope you have a patient mummy and that the tide is going the right way.
- Crying does not help you get out of trouble
- Signing "plane" does not make them magically appear - unless you are actually near the airport.
- Mummy will forget she is cross with you if you raspberry her tummy or stick your finger in her belly button.
- DO NOT put banana down the back of Mummy's jeans. (I'm guessing this is universal though.)
- Running on the spot and squealing in front of another child is not as much fun for them as it is for me.
- Breathing with a snotty nose is easier if you wipe your nose on the clean laundry, couch, Daddy's shirt or all over your face.
- You can comb your hair with a fork. If you want lasting style rub egg, two minute noodles or mince through it first.
- Mince and chicken are not evil. Pumpkin soup is.
- I am too young to drink coffee and eat a whole chocolate biscuit. There is absolutely no point in asking.
- Wearing a shirt that says "Cutest baby in the world" will get commented on... Apparently I am in the Top 25. I'm guessing I have to compete with the Jolie-Pitt kids.
- There is no shirt that says "Mummy's WMD" or "I am what Bush was looking for!"
- Just because I can climb on the dining room table doesn't mean I should. Same goes for opening the front gate.
- It's harder for grownups to put a nappy on a moving target.
- It's harder for grownups to dress a moving target.
- It's harder for grownups to put Pumpkin Soup in a moving target.
- Geese are scary, ducks bite and Mummy is not averse to kicking either of them.
- Ducks will apparently learn not to grab the bread from my hand if Mummy smacks their beak and says NO!
- Girls like to be chased
- I don't.
- Throwing is harder than it looks.
- Throwing like a girl is easy.
- I get invited out to lunch and can choose to bring the parents.
- Sleep is for the weak.
- Music is cool
- Pretending to be shy gets you far in the world!
- So does being cute :)
- Wearing clothes is optional once you can take them off yourself.
- Mummies don't like having their shirts pulled down in the middle of the shops.
- The phrase "Oh My God" during a nappy change does not mean anything has fallen off. Checking it just means that you have to have your hands washed.
- Insomnia is best shared.
- Fits of giggles at 3am are not contagious.
- Cuddles can cure anything.
- I have 2 ears.
- Everyone I have met has 2 ears.
- Ears are great handles when riding on Daddy's shoulders.
- Life is more fun on the weekend
- Books are cool and if you break them in 3 you have 3 books!
- Every stone on the path has to be looked at closely and tasted. There is a chance that it may be edible.
- If you are given a cupboard of plastic things there is another cupboard full of glass things. Play with that instead if you want attention.
- Eggs break.
- Raw eggs does not taste like scrambled egg.
- Raw potatoes - very similar to #45
- Only talk on the phone when there is no one on it.
- Grown ups do not know where any of their or your bodyparts are. Nor for that matter do they know what noises any animal makes.
- Mummy's mixing bowls make great hats and drums.
- Putting your head between Daddy's legs when he is peeing is dangerous. Always use a mixing bowl for protection!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Some things I have learnt
In no particular order...
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